Mother’s Day Can Be Complicated
Mother’s Day is complicated for me. For a lot of reasons…
I’ve been a stepmother, a fur baby mom, a mother to hundreds of students, and the bio-mother to an angel baby.
This is the first Mother’s Day I’ve had since releasing my novel, “Bumble Bees & White Balloons: A Novel About Navigating Grief and Growth.”
It feels… different. Lighter. Like I’ve unburdened something big. And I have!
This novel helped me process the loss of my daughter Shaina to a rare neural tube defect called anencephaly. I don’t recommend googling that if you’re easily disturbed, but essentially the skull cannot form properly leading to an unviable life.
I found out I was pregnant on Christmas Eve of 2011, then lost Shaina in April of 2012, just before kicking off one of the most traumatic, dissociated, and confusing chapters of my life.
It wasn’t until late 2020, when I began writing the novel, that I fully felt the feelings in a healthy, grounded, and self-aware way. The book, while fictional, is drawn from real scenes in my life, especially the actual loss, the feelings, the hospital circumstances, and more that other angel mothers like me may have never expressed.
What came of allowing myself to write was not only profound healing, but an impetus to finally share my voice with the world. This unleashed SO much.
I know my daughter is proud. She continues to visit me in the body of bees, as her spirit did while I was pregnant with her.
So yes, Mother’s Day is complicated for me as someone whose motherhood is more or less invisible these days. But, I’ll always be a Mother, a Maternal force, a Momma Bear.
So if Mother’s Day is complicated for you, I see you. I feel you. I am loving you.
If it’s a day full of joy for you, I am celebrating you! Motherhood can be magical.
Love to every mother out there. You matter.
If you would like to read my book, it’s available on Amazon. It’s a highly inclusive book with a diverse cast of characters.
Unspeakable tragedy unravels the fabric of a picture-perfect partnership in Bumble Bees & White Balloons.
Abbi and Jordan are the queer couple who seems to have it all: jobs they love; a storybook romance in a safe, ethically non-monogamous relationship; a beautiful home in Baltimore; and soon, a baby on the way. But just as their happiness reaches an unimagined peak, they are confronted with a pandemic, medical flukes, and rampant racism.
Now, the edges of their perfectly woven picture of life begin to fray, unraveling thread by thread.
Set against the backdrop of 2020 America, Bumble Bees & White Balloons addresses many of the challenges modern families faced during such an uncertain time, in addition to rarely explored concepts of pregnancy complications and loss.
Bumble Bees & White Balloons is a queer-lit, contemporary fiction novel about an interracial couple who experiences pregnancy loss. This emotional LGBTQ romance novel tackles themes of grief, mental health, purpose, and social change with nuance and care. It celebrates the transformational power of speaking one’s truth, overcoming internalized prejudice, and supporting your partner’s growth. Abigail and Jordan’s journey reveals that leaning into vulnerability and authenticity may be the only path to mending a fractured relationship.
With relatable characters and sensitively handled storytelling, Bumble Bees & White Balloons is a must-read LGBTQ romance novel for anyone craving an empowering testament to the endurance of queer love. This story sends an ultimately hopeful message that even the darkest storms can bring about necessary change within oneself and society.
Safrianna Lughna is the Queer-Spirit Guide, a transformational mentor, mental health professional, and international best-selling author who desires to change the world through education, self-development, and compassion. For more information on Safrianna and her work in the world, you can visit Safrianna.com or LivingLUNAs.com.
