Why I Took a Month-Long Sabbatical—Lessons on Overcoming Compulsory Overwork
I’ve struggled with chronic illness for most of my life. I grew up highly traumatized and had recurring tummy problems, migraines, and more. The year I turned 30, I was formally diagnosed with fibromyalgia, and I just kind of pushed through because the solution that I was given was to take opioids. I knew I didn't want to do that, especially given that I had witnessed what using opioids did to a family member and how they became addicted.
As a result, I researched my own creative solutions and started float therapy and using medical marijuana to help manage the pain. For a long while, these methods helped soothe the underlying ache and slapped a bandaid over the surface-level issues, too. I got by “perfectly fine” for a while, but something had to give.
In late 2023, I retired from my 1-on-1 therapy practice to create more time, freedom, and thus opportunities for rest. I felt I was on a fast track to hospitalization, and my intuition said it was time to go.
However, because I hadn’t really cleared out the underlying issues that were keeping me in pain and exhaustion, I threw myself right back into the same old patterns.
As I created more spaciousness for me, I realized how ingrained overworking was—how subconscious this program became.
After being retired from therapy for six months, I was still working massively long work weeks: showing up for everybody, not making enough money, and investing in all these services to try and turn my situation around.
There was a turning point, though, where I realized no amount of masking the pain, self-soothing, or even just general daily self-care was cutting through. I also realized no amount of listening to other people’s advice, signing up for shiny business coaching, and trying every system and framework thrown at me added to my frustration and overwhelm. After letting go of some intense projects and group situations where I was carrying a lot of weight (because I signed up for it), I started to get to the root issue.
I believed I needed to be productive all the time to be worthy. If I rested, I’d be seen as lazy, not good enough, and useless—yet another remnant of people-pleasing, codependency, and our capitalist education. I was overworked because I felt like there was no other way, and I pushed through the messages my body was sending me.
We all need rest and rejuvenation. None of us are capable of pushing through and overachieving forever!
From Then to Now
A year ago and for many years prior, an average workload for me was seeing 22+ clients a week, trying to run my small business and lead a team, going to networking meetings, mastermind groups, classes, and of course, paperwork. Outside of work hours, I have my polycule, friends, family, animal companions, and other communities that I try to make time for. In other words… I had little to no time for myself because of how much I was showing up for others and work.
After letting go of my therapy clients, my schedule instead looked like more networking, mastermind, classes, coaching, podcasts, blogs, guidance clients, and managing my business—on top of trying to make room for my real dream, which is fully pursuing my writing career.
Again, same patterns! Still packing my schedule full with WORK!
I had a pretty strong call from Spirit to surrender, let go, and lean as fully into the flowy feminine side of the spectrum as I could. BE MORE. DO LESS. I’d been endlessly doing for over 30 years at this point, afterall.
So, I decided in April that I wanted to take a full stop break, or as close as possible. I brought it up to my team, mentioning that for my birthday month, I was considering taking the whole month off. Everyone was supportive, and it was great to have my contributions and impact acknowledged, while also not condoned as what I should keep doing.
As it got closer to June, I made a public announcement to my communities that I would be taking a step back for a bit. I realized I needed to drop as much as I could. At the end of May, I ended up canceling some June meetings and putting new boundaries in place, which felt a little impulsive and last-second. But, I was proud of myself because these decisions were made based on circumstances that were coming up that I knew wouldn’t be supportive to my health.
Ultimately, this long five to six-year journey of realizing I was overworking was one of the most important lessons of my life, and I’m glad I’m actively stopping to change that now.
In Parts work and Internal Family Systems work, we look at parts that manifest as symptoms. There's a lot of theory around fibromyalgia being an overworking woman's disease to some extent. It's like, "I am so burnt out. I’m so tired that my body is completely and utterly rejecting experiencing this life. I'm going to be in pain all the time. I'm going to be exhausted. My body is going to keep communicating with me that this is not working."
That's definitely been some of my experience. Overgiving was a huge reason for my chronic pain and constant chronic fatigue—but of course only one part of the picture as I also have C-PTSD.
Ultimately, I needed to take that time off to allow myself to see what was going on inside. Why was I feeling this way? Why did life hurt so much?
I discovered a lot in the month-long sabbatical about how much body pain I really am in—how much I still mask, how much my body still does not feel fully resourced. Allowing myself to calm down and not be overdoing and distracted constantly allowed me to see just how real and present my pain is. That's a huge thing that I'm navigating right now, even as I move forward in my business, relationships, and creative pursuits. This perspective has really landed home for me that with more ease and self-recognition, I can flow. I need to do what is right for my body!
So what about you…
Do you recognize any patterns of overworking or over-giving in your own life? How might these patterns be impacting your physical and emotional well-being?
What small steps can you take today to prioritize self-care and set healthier boundaries in your work and relationships?
Have you ever considered taking a sabbatical or an extended break from work? What fears or obstacles might be holding you back from taking this step?
My month-long sabbatical was a transformative experience that taught me the importance of listening to my body, setting boundaries, and prioritizing self-care. By stepping away from the compulsory overwork that had become so ingrained in my life, I gained clarity on the root causes of my chronic pain and fatigue.
This experience has inspired me to approach my work and life with a new mindset, one that values rest, flow, and alignment with my true purpose above all else.
For years, I’ve been a therapist and guide passionate about assisting others in coming to these realizations. I am always the cheerleader for other people’s health, ease, alignment, and flow. Now, more than ever, I am excited to be giving myself a seat at the table, filling my own cup first, and overflowing into the world from there.
All My Love,
Safrianna Lughna
The Queer-Spirit Guide
Photo by Amanda Lucia Photography.
If you're struggling with chronic illness, burnout, or the effects of compulsory overwork, know that you're not alone.
I've created RISE from the SOIL, a digital coping skills and self-care course designed to help you break free from these patterns and cultivate a more balanced, fulfilling life. In this self-paced course, you will:
Get to know how you are impacted by regular experiences of non-clinical depression, anxiety, dissociation, overwhelm, and more by addressing your Window of Tolerance.
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Learn the difference between stress and burnout.
Identify your current level of coping skills and self-care practices.
Practice skills of distraction, mindfulness, mastery, self-soothing, emotional awareness, and movement at your own pace with a variety of ideas and options.
Address your relationship with boundaries.
Establish a journaling or reflection practice with provided reflection prompts.
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RISE is still in beta, and we're offering a special beta price of $97 while we polish the back end and add a few more lessons. As it stands, there are 5 modules and over 40 different lessons.
To learn more and enroll, visit https://livinglunas.com/rise
This month, I’m participating in the Ultimate Blog Challenge and share wisdom gleaned from my sabbatical, butterfly medicine, and more. Feel free to follow along if you want to learn more about my story! #UltimateBlogChallenge https://www.ultimateblogchallenge.com/
Want to chat with me directly? Join the LivingLUNAs Discord: https://discord.gg/5UkGZb9kYp
And last but not least, did you know I have mental health freebies available right here at LivingLUNAs? Check them out and see if there is anything for you!
