Transforming into the Queer-Spirit Guide

As a Middle School English teacher, I did my best to show up every day for my 150+ students.

However, it was a daily struggle.

Here is me in back in 2016 as a middle school classroom showing off one of my unique projects I created for the kids to self-express! This was my own personal example, exploring the depths of my personal values!

While I put on a brave face for the world and people saw me as successful in all ways, the truth was I was miserable. At home, I was being abused by an intimate partner and had no vocabulary for what was happening. At work, I faced harassment from privileged parents regularly about why their children did not have A+ grades at all points in time. I was a union rep for our school which at the time had a misogynistic principal who was making sexual comments to teachers when no one else was around. And, at lunch, I had queer kids coming to me to talk about how no one understood them.

It was this last element that shifted things for me – the seeding of my future role as the Queer-Spirit Guide.

At the time, I realized I could help these queer children, gay, trans, lesbian, ace, and so many other labels, simply by accepting them and being a safe space. But, this quickly turned to a desire to do more which lead me to start grad school so I could become a professional counselor.

It was a slog. While I attended grad school, I maintained my job as a full-time teacher, continued to be a union rep, and was still experiencing unnamable abuse at home.

But the Universe had my back.

When it came time for my counseling internship, my personal therapist at the time recommended a local agency called Heartly House. It was a non-profit center supporting survivors of intimate partner violence (a form of domestic violence), sexual assault, and human trafficking.

Let me tell you, when I showed up for day one of my training and they went over the Wheel of Violence, my whole life turned upside down.

I finally had words for so much of what I had experienced in my young life as well as adult relationships (including professional ones).

Suddenly, with this knowledge, I had more choices.

I thought my choice would be empowerment. That's what I wanted. Seeing myself reflected in statistics about interpersonal violence, the impact of assault, and so many more traumas, I wanted to just shed that old skin and move on.

But, I had more self-development work to do.

Shortly thereafter, I did the unthinkable and called things in my life out for what they were.

A toxic relationship.

An unsupportive workplace.

A constant cycle of codependency, self-abandonment, and grief.

It broke me open, and I had to rebirth myself.

Over the next several years, I removed myself from the situations that kept me small and stuck. I left teaching behind completely (and got the misogynistic principal fired after an investigation from what I shared in my exit interview).

I said goodbye to a man I loved intensely because he simply could not honor me the way I needed.

Eventually, I even left all traditional employment to pursue entrepreneurial freedom and self-expression.

The road has not been without it's trials, and I've certainly stumbled multiple times in trying to figure out what is MINE to do rather than based on outdated societal norms and unhealthy models of overdoing.

It has taken several more years of being in the chrysalis of healing from my wounds, self-forgiveness, and cultivating compassion. Now, just under a decade after the seeds were planted for me to become the Queer-Spirit Guide, I am standing proudly in that role.

In order to be rebirthed under this new mantle, I had to experience my own dark nights, my own spiraling process of self-development, and receiving support from others such as therapists, business coaches, and other wellness professionals.

There are many aspects of my Self and Identity I had to go within to uncouple from societal norms in order to not judge myself as unworthy of such a title.

Due to identifying as a bisexual person, I have unfortunately experienced the unique abuses and forms of violence that happen against non-straight people in addition to increased sexual violence, erasure, religious trauma, demonizing, misunderstanding, and more. These forms of harm came from both straight and queer people alike, as well as from internalized homophobia within myself.

Through these experiences, I've learned to seed my desires, hold the vision, allow the wisdom to flow, and take inspired action to stay in alignment with my dreams.

Obviously, I cannot cure the traumas of all people who come in contact with me that hold harmful beliefs about LGBTQIA+ people, nor can I wave a wand and get rid of all of the misunderstandings about people like me. However, I do have the power of my privilege and the reclamation of my voice to use as allies in helping make the world a better place for myself and others.

I now stand in this mission through several important pillars of how I show up in the world:

- In my writing: I am a 4x international bestselling author, an international award-winning creative writer, and have written two poetry books and four novels to date which I plan to publish later this year. I explore themes of inclusion, othering, trauma, environmental impact, and spirituality in whatever forms of writing I put out.

- In my rituals: I love performing ritual that honors the natural rhythms of our beautiful planet. These rituals empower myself and others to acknowledge our own cycles and deepen our relationship with nature around us.

- In my group containers: I show up powerfully, presently, and with intention in my memberships, retreats, coaching/mastermind groups, and wherever else I appear out in the world (as a Natural Number 9, I myself am a container of sorts).

- As the Visionary CEO of Living LUNA: Living LUNA fully intends to expand into a place where it is making an even greater impact in the world, able to donate freely to causes globally and locally, and providing sustainable, conscious experiences wherever we go.

- As my authentic Self: Living out loud as a proud queer polyamorous professional person and making my expertise and education available to help others who want to learn.

I am so blessed to be able to fully step into the knowingness of who I am and what my gifts are.

Now I get to be a bridge for others, helping them walk their paths with care and compassion.

Today as the Queer-Spirit Guide, I provide routine, reliable, and rhythmic rituals to drop into intention, powerful presence, and authentic self-alignment.

This name means a lot to me, and I take it very seriously.

How can I support and serve you on your own journey to authentic self-alignment? How can Living LUNA help you?

For more about us and our mission, check out LivingLUNAs.com or Safrianna.com